Why do I ride?

[pullquote1]Why do I ride? Well first off it is for the health benifits. That’s what started it off. [/pullquote1]
When tubby here was playing with his girls, I could not catch my breath
after just 10 minutes of playing with them. I said enough is enough, so I
researhed on things I could do because of my surgeries. Cycling seemed like the
best option. My wife first got me a stationary and about a month later I picked
up my first bike. Now I went from 260 down to 234 lbs (if you read my last post
you will notice that it is 4 lbs up…darn you good tasting chicken, sauage and
gizzard gumbo…darn you all 8 bowls of it).

Why do I ride? I know only other cyclist will appreciate this but it
is when you ride by yourself and everything is gone but you. I get lost in my
prayers, thoughts and pain that I am bringing to myself. It is the smell of
the fresh rain air when the sky is dark and rain is on the horizon. On the
flip side, it is also how you can ride with friends and when you are talking
it is everything that interest you (what new bikes come out, best tasting
gels, how boudin balls are the perfect cycling fuel, how you get that rash
between your…everything is interesting). Plus the push you get when you
ride with a group. It is excellerating.

Why do I ride? I feel it is prolly the same reason a golfer golfs, a swimmer
swims, a football player wants to make the best play possible, or why a runner
runs…why do I ride?…because in my minds eye, it is the perfect sport.

My First Group Ride

Writers Note: Yes, I have moved. It was great posting at Cajun Cyclist but Alex asked for me to post here…so here I am. Figured it would not over load their site with my dribble. Before anyone ask, no I do not use Jed as my endurance trainer (but would if I could) so this is just merely entertainment for his site. This post is meant to be light-hearted and fun. I will at times, I will review certain products and give my best fat man unbias opinion but the majority of the time it will be my view of the world of cycling from a big guys viewpoint. I am posting two older post from Cajun Cyclist, then next week I will be posting new stuff. Thanks David

I want to give a little info before I get into telling you about my 1st group
ride. Yes, I am the fat man, but I am going down with a quickness. I went from
260lbs on June 6th, down to 230lbs on July 22nd. My bike (Lucy, named in honor
of my Dad, will give info on that later) is a beast. It is a GMC Denali hybrid
that is a whopping 31 lbs. When Matt at Precision Bikes cheched the weight, it
made the ceiling make popping noises.

Now you know a few facts, let’s get into the group ride. First and foremost, it
was awesome, but it didn’t start that way. When I first got there, there were
guys coming out with cool looking team jerseys, bikes that drool over in
magazines and at Mark’s place, and they were all under 200 lbs. All the
excitment that I had the night before was steadily running into dread. There was
no way I was going to keep up with these guys.

[pullquote1]I made up my mind, I was going to bail out with dignity. In other words when everyone took off, I was going to slide out the back.[/pullquote1]
Just then I noticed a
little group of 3 that wasn’t leaving with the others. Found out that this was
the beginners group I was hoping for. Meet Rhonda, Jen and Elijah.

Rhonda started out by giving me pointers on how to ride group, hand signals,
call outs etc. We started out at a nice click (13-15 mph) and was enjoying
talking with everyone. As me and Rhonda was talking, we noticed we were dropped
a good bit, so we pushed to get up with our 2 man breakaway. Then IT came. They
called it a hill, I call it a small mountain. Honestly, it wasn’t that bad but
still ate my lunch and put my lungs on the floor.

Before I knew it we were by the Farm golf course and really enjoying ourselves.
Plus, they were right, riding in a group makes you push harder. There was one
time I hit 26.9 mph. Of course it was downhill and with a tailwind…but it was
my accomplishment.

All in all, it was one of the best times I had on my bike. Next Sat. guys I will
be joining you for breakfast.

Southern Comfort

[pullquote1]There are many dangers out on the road when we ride and each region has its own set of potenial hazards. First, let me start with the north and the coastal regions. [/pullquote1]

Sure you have the chance to be mauled by a bear or a mountain lion up north (would not be much fun), but what scares me most is pea gravel. Just think, with those big mountains come big descents( I love descents by the way). You coming down doing about 40 mph and hit a patch of pea gravel, I promise you will look like a bear mauled you by the time you stop skidding on your backside.

Now on the east and west coast, there is always a chance of alligators or the occasional surf board coming out a car (dude you dented my board with your head!!!) but what scares me most is retired transplants from up north. They still drive like they are in New York or Chicago but don’t have the motor skills to adjust fast enough. Plus those blinkers are so aggravating (Turn it off)!!!

I have been hearing on the radio how some of the northern states have been having a “heat wave” for 10-20 days. Here in southern Louisiana we call that fall. Plus the animals down here think they have more rights to the roads then the cars do. If you are not dodging dead animals the live ones are vicious. The other day, I came across a water moccasin on stretched across my side of the road. Thinking it was dead , I was going to bunny hop over it until the snake woke up. Needless to say, it took about a day to take the saddle out of the orifice that sucked it up.

Still about 3 weeks ago, I came across a set of cats crossing the street, or what I thought was cats. The family of skunks were not pleased with me, but I came away unscathed.

All this is scary but what scares me most down here is trail rides. Yes, trail rides. If you are unfamiliar with trail rides, let me explain what it is. It is backwoods drunken revelry with added bonus of large animals that are mostly out of control. There is usually a buggy being drawn by horse or tractor proceeded by a peloton of horses and drunk riders. The buggy can usually only hold three people, not because it is small but that it is holding that many ice chest and bbq pits. Nothing like fire and a small wooden buggy to build confidence in people. If you come across one of these turn around, I learned this the hard way.

I was running late on my ride, so I was out at 10am (keep this time in the back of your mind). Well as I was coming around my usual route, I started running into horse patties. You have never experienced bike handling like trying not to hit a multitude of horse crap. This should have clued me in but I am a slow learner.

I was going a good click (18 mph) and came up the trail ride rather quicker than I expected (and the closer I got the more crap I had to dodge). Lesson number two from this, don’t try to pass a trail ride while riding a bike. I figured I was going a good bit faster then them and nothing was coming, let me pass them. When I had got up to them I had dropped into a lower gear, to slow down but keep pedaling. I make my move.

Lesson number three and four, horses have great hearing and drunk people cannot drive a wild beast. As I make my move, I noticed that one horse was a little skettish and the “experienced rider” had a beer in one hand, a whiskey bottle in the other and his “little cajun friend” was driving the reins. So my thought was jump into a higher gear and blast pass this guy, my mistake. My gear change made its normal click-clack noise and the horse jumped, and not in a good way. How that horse heard my gear change is beside me because the radio on the buggy was blasting Richard LeBouf “Who Stole My Monkey?” so loud it was creating a wind tunnel. The horse jumped right in front of me, I actually had to get into the horse peloton just not to get ran over.

I will tell you it is not fun having your face right where those horse patties come from. I was lucky enough to get all the way to the other side of the road and peeled off when the next road came up.

Please take these lessons to heart…It will save your butt and sanity. Trust me!